How to handle insults

You’re at a party and someone asks what you do for a living. Advisors have prepared responses designed to get the other person asking questions. But what do you do when the person insults your profession?

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He might say, “Don’t they make you cold call for eight years?” Between the lines he’s saying he would never want your job. What’s the proper response to this kind of put-down?

Motives

Why are they so hostile? There are many possible triggers, including:

• Firsthand experience: “I tried your job before and I didn’t make it.”
• Share the misery: “I’m unhappy in my job and I want you to be unhappy too.”
• Negative press: “I read a negative article about brokers. It said they cold call for eight years.”
• Suspicion: “You’re a parasite. You make money by taking it from other people.”
• Villains needed: “I have a negative impression of your industry.”
• Confusion: “You’re a telemarketer, aren’t you?”
• Ignorance: “I don’t know what you do?”
• Opportunity: “I don’t have a good financial advisory relationship. Aren’t you all the same?”

Your Message

Without being arrogant, you want to communicate your pride in your profession. Regardless of your industry experience, it wasn’t easy to get the job. You had to compete against many other candidates just to get in the door. You work very hard to help other people, making a positive difference in their lives.

Avoid being defensive, or finding negative common ground, like agreeing that another industry is far worse. Ask yourself what he would need to hear to make them consider doing business with you.

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Address their lack of solid information. What do he know about your firm? You could be doing lots of other jobs, but you chose yours because you have what it takes to succeed. “Relationship manager” is an excellent description of what you do.

Responding to the “8-year cold call” claim

You have several strategies available to counter this kind of negative statement about your job.

• Get them talking: “Cold call for eight years? That’s quite a statement! Where did you hear that?”
• Sell the firm: “Actually I work at (firm). What do you know about us?”
• That was then, this is now: “Years ago some firms used cold callers. I’m a relationship manager.”
• Do not call list: “Some industries used to focus almost exclusively on cold calling. It was annoying. The do not call list put a stop to that.”
• Are you a banker? “We’re a bank with a few dozen financial advisors in (city). Why would a bank cold call?”
• Exclusivity: “In our business new clients are usually added by introduction or invitation.”
• Reflexive answer: “Cold calling for eight years? That sounds horrible! Do they do that in your business?”
• Position confidentiality: “I’m one of several advisors in (city). We each work with a small group of clients. Some are high profile, others are regular folks. Regardless of size, their identities are confidential, of course.”
• Got One? “Do you have an advisor? What do you like best about them? In what areas do you think there’s room for improvement?”

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