Wedding bells — or alarm bells?
What to do when you suspect an elderly client is being manipulated in a late-life relationship
By Allan Janssen |May 27, 2024
4 min read
Wondering how to best manage your team or grow your client list? Not sure how to deal with a particular client? If these questions are on your mind, reach out to Advisor.ca and our columnist, Joanne Ferguson.
The veteran consultant, personal coach and author will be sharing her knowledge and answering your questions in her column – ‘Ask The Expert: Best Practices’. Backed by over 20 years of experience, the owner and president of Advisor Pathways will be addressing your business, career concerns.
To send along your questions for Joanne’s next column, send an email to AskAdvisor@advisor.rogers.com
Hey Joanne,
I am looking to pull in some more high-net worth clients into my practice but not sure how to do so? Maybe the larger issue is, how is it best to market yourself? Are there strategies which work better than others?
Angela
Dear Angela,
Sorry for the delayed response. I was away on vacation enjoying some sun, sand and surf.
It is really important to be clear on your vision, find research on your specific target market, read books and then identify the practices you feel you can adopt and the areas you must change in order to attract these clients.
You have to find what works for you. From what I have read and have come to understand, this target market wants YOU as their trusted advisor to understand their wants and needs (up close and personal), help then create a overall strategy for their family and organize them so they can find what they need when they need it.
Some questions to ask yourself:
Some book recommendations for you to read that I have had the pleasure of reading lately:
I truly believe a few strategies that work best are a clear and consistent client service platform which entails knowing your clients, anticipating their needs and helping them have a clear plan of action for themselves and their family.
Knowing your brand so you understand what brand message you are sending out and that every touch point is a reflection of your brand.
More questions to ask yourself:
Dear Joanne,
This may seem like a strange statement but I kind of fell into the advisor business a couple of years ago but at heart, I am really an introvert. Meeting face to face with clients and establishing a rapport is really difficult for me, although things seems to be going well. Do you have any suggestions when it comes to developing better communications or personal skills?
Amy
Dear Amy,
It is not a strange statement as I fell into this business over 21 years ago and continue to learn and grow. Maybe it is time to think about building a team around you so you can do what you like best and your team can help you do the rest.
A good question to ask yourself, “What are you best at? Now hand everything else off.”
Perhaps the areas of the job that require more face time or spontaneous client queries etc. can be handled by someone else. I know many successful Advisors that fit your very profile and are still working with clients today but have a specific role and responsibility within the team.
They handle more of the research for the team, have scheduled phone reviews so that they can prepare and not have to be face-to-face for as many. Their associate or business partner works closely with the client and handles many of the face to face relationship building tasks that they enjoy.
One thing you really want to remember is that it is not about YOU, it is about the client so stay focused on the client and your difficultly around establishing a rapport will decrease as it could be coming from your own personal gremlins that you are focusing on before, during and after the meeting. Let then talk and listen for their goals and dreams for the future.
Potential Strategies:
You do not have to be everything to everyone and you do not have to feel bad about it. We are all unique and need to really understand how we function and how we can be most productive rather than working against our talents and being unhappy and exhausted.
It was good to read that despite how you are feeling that things seem to be going well and I am sure they are. Below is an exercise for you to try:
It is not fair of me to just say hire someone when you might truly want to increase your communications skills and I know we can all be better communicators as it takes work and effort to keep the awareness around what you are saying and how it is coming across to someone else.
Below is a process for having high value relationships. This was a process we ran through with another company now known as ‘Plays that Work’ using actors to help advisors and their associates build stronger relationships with their clients and each other.
Step One: Hi – How are you? As their advisor your most important role is uncovering or revealing their real concerns, determining what is most important to them and identifying what it will take to provide mutually satisfying results.
Step Two: As their advisor to get them from where they are now to where they want to be, you are: you are wanting to build alignment between you and the client. Clarifying their mission and goals – their overall direction / Determining the gap between where they are now and their destination / Acting as the compass and the radar to ensure that they get there.
Step Three: Become focused – eliminate your own preoccupations! Remember earlier when I mentioned getting rid of your own gremlins….those thoughts, expectations and concerns that are already taking your attention. Remove these as it is not about you but the individual in front of you. Listen for their issues and concerns.
Step Four: Establish Rapport – Mirroring is when we offer back the other person’s non-verbal behaviours. It is not mimicking – rather you are following the pace and the motion of the other in a natural and empathetic way. Mirroring communicates with what is known as the person’s automatic intelligence (or sub-conscious) and you need only mirror body language and tone in one or two ways to develop and enhance rapport. Matching involves word choice and articulating back to the client using his or her key words. You enhance rapport by selecting words of the other. Matching and mirroring involves making your communication – verbal and non-verbal congruent with the other person.
Step Five: Revealing concerns is the process of getting to what is MOST important to the client. Opinions are the access point. Important in this process is distinguishing between facts and opinions. Opinions give access to their decision making structure. Facts are usually exposed through the opinions. Opinions are the things on the surface, they alert you to hotter, more important issues that may not be visible. What they say may sound significant but usually something more significant is going on inside.
Step Six: Aligning – Gaining Commitment – Gaining commitment is the process of asking for the most the client can commit to in the context of the interaction. In a high value relationship commitments are mutual. Both parties need to commit to each other. “Based on my understanding of what you are trying to achieve with your retirement goals. I believe we can work together to attain the results you are looking for. When can we meet?”
Step Seven: Mutual Commitment – Let’s proceed….
Amy, I hope this information is of some value to you and best of luck with your growing practice.
Dear Joanne,
I have been in the business 6 years and like everyone I have struggled to find clients and grow my practice. Sometimes I wonder if I made the right career choice. What advice do you have for someone who is wondering if they are on the right path or not? How can I best assess this for myself?
Andrew
Dear Andrew,
6 Years….keep swimming……it honestly takes 5-7 years to get a practice up and running compare to years ago when it was typically 3-5 years…..but honestly…the fact you are wondering could be your answer. As I mentioned to Amy, think about your ideal day and write out what would your day look like and how it would play out. If you do not love what you do then you might want to think about what will get you up in the morning rearing to go.
It is very difficult to start and establish a practice so do not be too hard on yourself and really try and figure out if you are just tired and a bit burnt out so want to step away or think about why you got into the business in the first place. Was it a passion for you? The money? The entrepreneurship? Maybe you do not want to be the owner but might want to join a team and allow yourself to be paid for the business you have built and then be a valued team member of a growing practice.
Ask yourself:
A quote I like to leave you with…
“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is to be achieved.”
Wondering how to best manage your team or grow your client list? Not sure how to deal with a particular client? If these questions are on your mind, reach out to Advisor.ca and our columnist, Joanne Ferguson.
The veteran consultant, personal coach and author will be sharing her knowledge and answering your questions in her column – ‘Ask The Expert: Best Practices’. Backed by over 20 years of experience, the owner and president of Advisor Pathways will be addressing your business, career concerns.
To send along your questions for Joanne’s next column, send an email to AskAdvisor@advisor.rogers.com
Hey Joanne,
I am looking to pull in some more high-net worth clients into my practice but not sure how to do so? Maybe the larger issue is, how is it best to market yourself? Are there strategies which work better than others?
Angela
Dear Angela,
Sorry for the delayed response. I was away on vacation enjoying some sun, sand and surf.
It is really important to be clear on your vision, find research on your specific target market, read books and then identify the practices you feel you can adopt and the areas you must change in order to attract these clients.
You have to find what works for you. From what I have read and have come to understand, this target market wants YOU as their trusted advisor to understand their wants and needs (up close and personal), help then create a overall strategy for their family and organize them so they can find what they need when they need it.
Some questions to ask yourself:
Some book recommendations for you to read that I have had the pleasure of reading lately:
I truly believe a few strategies that work best are a clear and consistent client service platform which entails knowing your clients, anticipating their needs and helping them have a clear plan of action for themselves and their family.
Knowing your brand so you understand what brand message you are sending out and that every touch point is a reflection of your brand.
More questions to ask yourself:
Dear Joanne,
This may seem like a strange statement but I kind of fell into the advisor business a couple of years ago but at heart, I am really an introvert. Meeting face to face with clients and establishing a rapport is really difficult for me, although things seems to be going well. Do you have any suggestions when it comes to developing better communications or personal skills?
Amy
Dear Amy,
It is not a strange statement as I fell into this business over 21 years ago and continue to learn and grow. Maybe it is time to think about building a team around you so you can do what you like best and your team can help you do the rest.
A good question to ask yourself, “What are you best at? Now hand everything else off.”
Perhaps the areas of the job that require more face time or spontaneous client queries etc. can be handled by someone else. I know many successful Advisors that fit your very profile and are still working with clients today but have a specific role and responsibility within the team.
They handle more of the research for the team, have scheduled phone reviews so that they can prepare and not have to be face-to-face for as many. Their associate or business partner works closely with the client and handles many of the face to face relationship building tasks that they enjoy.
One thing you really want to remember is that it is not about YOU, it is about the client so stay focused on the client and your difficultly around establishing a rapport will decrease as it could be coming from your own personal gremlins that you are focusing on before, during and after the meeting. Let then talk and listen for their goals and dreams for the future.
Potential Strategies:
You do not have to be everything to everyone and you do not have to feel bad about it. We are all unique and need to really understand how we function and how we can be most productive rather than working against our talents and being unhappy and exhausted.
It was good to read that despite how you are feeling that things seem to be going well and I am sure they are. Below is an exercise for you to try:
It is not fair of me to just say hire someone when you might truly want to increase your communications skills and I know we can all be better communicators as it takes work and effort to keep the awareness around what you are saying and how it is coming across to someone else.
Below is a process for having high value relationships. This was a process we ran through with another company now known as ‘Plays that Work’ using actors to help advisors and their associates build stronger relationships with their clients and each other.
Step One: Hi – How are you? As their advisor your most important role is uncovering or revealing their real concerns, determining what is most important to them and identifying what it will take to provide mutually satisfying results.
Step Two: As their advisor to get them from where they are now to where they want to be, you are: you are wanting to build alignment between you and the client. Clarifying their mission and goals – their overall direction / Determining the gap between where they are now and their destination / Acting as the compass and the radar to ensure that they get there.
Step Three: Become focused – eliminate your own preoccupations! Remember earlier when I mentioned getting rid of your own gremlins….those thoughts, expectations and concerns that are already taking your attention. Remove these as it is not about you but the individual in front of you. Listen for their issues and concerns.
Step Four: Establish Rapport – Mirroring is when we offer back the other person’s non-verbal behaviours. It is not mimicking – rather you are following the pace and the motion of the other in a natural and empathetic way. Mirroring communicates with what is known as the person’s automatic intelligence (or sub-conscious) and you need only mirror body language and tone in one or two ways to develop and enhance rapport. Matching involves word choice and articulating back to the client using his or her key words. You enhance rapport by selecting words of the other. Matching and mirroring involves making your communication – verbal and non-verbal congruent with the other person.
Step Five: Revealing concerns is the process of getting to what is MOST important to the client. Opinions are the access point. Important in this process is distinguishing between facts and opinions. Opinions give access to their decision making structure. Facts are usually exposed through the opinions. Opinions are the things on the surface, they alert you to hotter, more important issues that may not be visible. What they say may sound significant but usually something more significant is going on inside.
Step Six: Aligning – Gaining Commitment – Gaining commitment is the process of asking for the most the client can commit to in the context of the interaction. In a high value relationship commitments are mutual. Both parties need to commit to each other. “Based on my understanding of what you are trying to achieve with your retirement goals. I believe we can work together to attain the results you are looking for. When can we meet?”
Step Seven: Mutual Commitment – Let’s proceed….
Amy, I hope this information is of some value to you and best of luck with your growing practice.
Dear Joanne,
I have been in the business 6 years and like everyone I have struggled to find clients and grow my practice. Sometimes I wonder if I made the right career choice. What advice do you have for someone who is wondering if they are on the right path or not? How can I best assess this for myself?
Andrew
Dear Andrew,
6 Years….keep swimming……it honestly takes 5-7 years to get a practice up and running compare to years ago when it was typically 3-5 years…..but honestly…the fact you are wondering could be your answer. As I mentioned to Amy, think about your ideal day and write out what would your day look like and how it would play out. If you do not love what you do then you might want to think about what will get you up in the morning rearing to go.
It is very difficult to start and establish a practice so do not be too hard on yourself and really try and figure out if you are just tired and a bit burnt out so want to step away or think about why you got into the business in the first place. Was it a passion for you? The money? The entrepreneurship? Maybe you do not want to be the owner but might want to join a team and allow yourself to be paid for the business you have built and then be a valued team member of a growing practice.
Ask yourself:
A quote I like to leave you with…
“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is to be achieved.”
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4 min read
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