Couples must be open about goals

If you ask most clients what they want to do in retirement, it’s a safe bet that none of them will say “bicker with my spouse.” But that may be a leading pastime if the couple is not open about their vision of the golden years.

A survey of Quebec retirees by TD Waterhouse found that scarcely half (52%) of married retirees had the same vision for retirement as their spouse. Diverging dreams can lead to problems in retirement, when couples spend far more time together, and 19% said they experience conflict in their relationship.

“Retirement creates a whole new dynamic for couples who have spent years together in the same comfortable routine of going to work and raising kids,” says relationship therapist, Joe Rich, M.S.W, R.S.W. “There is an adjustment period that most couples experience when that routine changes. Getting ready emotionally to deal with that new reality can be tougher than people think, but talking to each other about your retirement expectations — and fears — can help to work through any issues, together.”

Far from the image portrayed in marketing materials, retirement can be a time of great stress. Coping with change was cited as a stressor by 22% of retirees, while 18% said the hardest part about retirement was that they didn’t have a sufficient income to do all of the things they used to do.

Rich says couples should discuss their retirement dreams well in advance to avoid conflict down the road. Part of the problem might be that 43% of respondents had no idea what they wanted in retirement.

Of course, it’s not all bad news in retirement. Thirty seven percent of married retirees reported they were “closer than ever” with their spouse.

“Retirement planning as a couple is about more than just saving money – you need an understanding of what you would like to do together and recognize that your vision will evolve over time,” says Sylvie Demers, vice-president, TD Waterhouse. “The key to a rewarding retirement is to discuss your lifestyle goals, and how your finances can help you meet these goals. Confidence can come from an honest discussion with your partner, and the help of a trusted financial advisor.”

(02/18/10)