Planner: Work through disagreements before you’re married

Here are some ideas for holding an event geared toward soon-to-be married couples.

You’ll need:

The companion worksheet

The marriage contracts presentation

A lawyer who specializes in pre-nuptial agreements.

A packet of standard 3×5 cue cards.

Format:

To facilitate frank discussions and rapport between you and the attendees, limit the guest list to no more than 12 people (six couples).

Attendance by both partners should be mandatory.

Start by asking couples whether or not they intend to get pre-nuptial agreements. Ask participants what they think of such contracts.

Hand out the worksheet and ask the couples to read through the first scenario. Each person should answer the question at the end of the scenario separately (writing it down on a cue card), without discussing it with his or her partner.

Once everyone’s responded to the scenario, ask people to hold up their cards, first showing their partners, and then the group. Briefly discuss the consequences of each answer; and in cases where a member of a couple writes an opposing answer, ask him or her to explain the reasoning.

Repeat with each of the three scenarios, one at a time.

Then give the presentation on how pre-nuptial agreements work, and how they can help resolve uncertainty or set expectations for a marriage.

If you’ve teamed up with a lawyer in your network, she can also deliver a brief presentation about the nuts and bolts of arranging a pre-nuptial agreement.

After the presentations, ask guests whether they’ve thought about the issues raised in the case studies and presentations. Also ask whether they have any worries about their financial circumstances before or after marriage.

You and the lawyer can then address specific concerns. For more complex questions, promise clients a response in the next few days, or set up meetings to discuss issues in greater detail.